Happy spoiled weirdo
Hearing people talk in the office and all around, casually, without any deeper meaning, made me think a lot. And also yesterday while hanging out I had a couple of realizations. One tied with the other made the closure of my reflexion (what? reflexion? Yes, I know you would not normally attach this word to my attitude towards life, but I have been pretty reflective lately, considering that I reflect not by going to meditate, do Aikido, or others, but simply... I think while I am carrying on with normal life) and that has brought me to a pretty good state of mind.
In the office, person A tells to person B "Are you bringing everybody?" before leaving the office.
The maybe innocent question of this person to the other made me think... so who is everybody and who is not? According to Webster's dictionary "everybody" simply means "everyone". But the tone of the person talking implied there was a separation between the two people holding the conversation and the rest of all human beings in this world, something like "us and them". Which made me think, so how or under which criteria do people belong in "us" or "them"?
For the last decade (no overreaction, I started thinking about this at 15 and I am 25) I have been struggling to understand why people create differences and barriers, where being all human beings,biologically , there are not many.
So... in the community where I grew up, "us" was reducing the total community to the population with certain charachteristics such as education level, level of income, coming from a "good" family, among others. And my question has always been, so... does every individual in this case, have any free will on weather they will belong to "us" or "them"? Not really. It is just a matter of pure luck (or you can call it God, or fate, or as you like the most). The point is that no one chooses where they are born, and therefore I considered the whole "us" and "them" thing as something totally unfair, as only later in life and in an accomodated position you can have a choice. Also, ever since, I consider myself as a pretty lucky person that has been spoiled in many different ways by life. From many things a young person can have around I have only had the best without doing much more than being born and doing what I consider right and fair. Materially speaking, what I did not have, I always had the opportunity to get it through effort ( I have been thought that things are not for free by not getting absolutelly all I want). And yes, even if this year has been particularly hard on me, still I am a spoiled brat of my fate to the luxurious point of having the possibility to choose many things, like the people around me so choosing when I am "us", when I am "them", or to consider the whole groupping concept as something ridiculous.
Still, society keeps making smaller and smaller groups, so in a group of let's say 100 people at school, you had the cool ones, the nerds, the ones that do lots of sports and the ones mom's didn't want around and the rest. The first group was elected on popular choice based on unknown reasons; the second ones were shy, bad at sports, knowing too much and taking the side of the teacher; the third group was self explanatory; the fourth group was chosen by my mother (based on brother doing drugs, having the fame of being a slut, her mother is annoying, her family is separated and many others) and so as the rest. I was with the sporty kids (other suprise for some perhaps?) because we were playing ball all the time, so eventually by playing all the time with the naturally talented that were gifted with patience, I became good as well.
Yes, humans have the necessity to group, even on stupid reasons, like those boys groups at school that have a sort of boss that decides which boy can play and which boy cannot based on the mood he woke up with. The others will think he is cool, while in most cases it is only a bigger boy that learned more tricks to abuse the others and keeps them living in horror under his command. And when someone is not admitted automatically in the team they certainly will have to proof themselves before asking for membership. Once in the team they will respect the rules (or any random desire of the boss when admiration to the big kid has developed), and when someone is not supposed to be in the team no one in the team will be friends with him because he has not been granted permission to join, if they are friends with that person they will be out of the team automatically. No offence boys, girls do this too.
How often do we try to proof ourselves to belong in a group? Yes... the need of acceptance, a powerful one will make us do things we don't want to fit in. But is it not funny that once we are in a group of any size we struggle to keep being different? To understand what is our uniqueness? To come out of the pattern of being "everyone"?
What a paradox, fighting to belong to everyone you will then fight to be different from everyone which to my experience will make you feel like you are weird.
Am I weird? Maybe... But when you are in a party talking all night to someone, you look around and you realize this is the hottest guy in the party, or at least that's what you think, and you bless on your weirdness because somehow he thinks this weirdness is kind of cool when you were simply floatng without caring too much.
So yes, I am a happy weirdo spoiled by life without enough problems to fill all my time, to think such complicated random things instead. Thanks to luck.
In the office, person A tells to person B "Are you bringing everybody?" before leaving the office.
The maybe innocent question of this person to the other made me think... so who is everybody and who is not? According to Webster's dictionary "everybody" simply means "everyone". But the tone of the person talking implied there was a separation between the two people holding the conversation and the rest of all human beings in this world, something like "us and them". Which made me think, so how or under which criteria do people belong in "us" or "them"?
For the last decade (no overreaction, I started thinking about this at 15 and I am 25) I have been struggling to understand why people create differences and barriers, where being all human beings,biologically , there are not many.
So... in the community where I grew up, "us" was reducing the total community to the population with certain charachteristics such as education level, level of income, coming from a "good" family, among others. And my question has always been, so... does every individual in this case, have any free will on weather they will belong to "us" or "them"? Not really. It is just a matter of pure luck (or you can call it God, or fate, or as you like the most). The point is that no one chooses where they are born, and therefore I considered the whole "us" and "them" thing as something totally unfair, as only later in life and in an accomodated position you can have a choice. Also, ever since, I consider myself as a pretty lucky person that has been spoiled in many different ways by life. From many things a young person can have around I have only had the best without doing much more than being born and doing what I consider right and fair. Materially speaking, what I did not have, I always had the opportunity to get it through effort ( I have been thought that things are not for free by not getting absolutelly all I want). And yes, even if this year has been particularly hard on me, still I am a spoiled brat of my fate to the luxurious point of having the possibility to choose many things, like the people around me so choosing when I am "us", when I am "them", or to consider the whole groupping concept as something ridiculous.
Still, society keeps making smaller and smaller groups, so in a group of let's say 100 people at school, you had the cool ones, the nerds, the ones that do lots of sports and the ones mom's didn't want around and the rest. The first group was elected on popular choice based on unknown reasons; the second ones were shy, bad at sports, knowing too much and taking the side of the teacher; the third group was self explanatory; the fourth group was chosen by my mother (based on brother doing drugs, having the fame of being a slut, her mother is annoying, her family is separated and many others) and so as the rest. I was with the sporty kids (other suprise for some perhaps?) because we were playing ball all the time, so eventually by playing all the time with the naturally talented that were gifted with patience, I became good as well.
Yes, humans have the necessity to group, even on stupid reasons, like those boys groups at school that have a sort of boss that decides which boy can play and which boy cannot based on the mood he woke up with. The others will think he is cool, while in most cases it is only a bigger boy that learned more tricks to abuse the others and keeps them living in horror under his command. And when someone is not admitted automatically in the team they certainly will have to proof themselves before asking for membership. Once in the team they will respect the rules (or any random desire of the boss when admiration to the big kid has developed), and when someone is not supposed to be in the team no one in the team will be friends with him because he has not been granted permission to join, if they are friends with that person they will be out of the team automatically. No offence boys, girls do this too.
How often do we try to proof ourselves to belong in a group? Yes... the need of acceptance, a powerful one will make us do things we don't want to fit in. But is it not funny that once we are in a group of any size we struggle to keep being different? To understand what is our uniqueness? To come out of the pattern of being "everyone"?
What a paradox, fighting to belong to everyone you will then fight to be different from everyone which to my experience will make you feel like you are weird.
Am I weird? Maybe... But when you are in a party talking all night to someone, you look around and you realize this is the hottest guy in the party, or at least that's what you think, and you bless on your weirdness because somehow he thinks this weirdness is kind of cool when you were simply floatng without caring too much.
So yes, I am a happy weirdo spoiled by life without enough problems to fill all my time, to think such complicated random things instead. Thanks to luck.
Labels: Reflexion
posted by M at 12:54 AM
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