Back for real
Sometimes very hard things need to happen in order to feel like you are back in your own skin.
You see your naked soul, you visit the limits of all the emotions you can experience, and it is when you lose control, when you trully let go of everything when you hit rock bottom.
You realize that personal definition is a continuous path and the sheet can be blank again.
Can one really get to a point in which one can say one is trully self aware? Can one really reach a point in which personal awareness and acceptance is such that one achieves true harmony, balance and freedom?
Sometimes you feel you have lost yourself and you don't have an idea of who you are anymore. It is that point, the lowest point, when you realize that there are people that love you, not because of who you are, not because of what you do for them, not because of the constant effort you can do to be nice, to meet what you assume were their expectation of you, because of a promise of unconditionality you made, but because they simply love you and who you can become because they saw into your soul when everything was going so fast in circles that you lost comprenhension.
It is the consequence of an unspoken promise. To be there no matter what. To slap you to come back to your senses. To hug you in the deepest of your pain. To take you back home. To make you breakfast and help you put all the pieces together and make you feel home. To stand up for you when no one else will. To leave a party to be on the phone across the continent at 5am to share your sorrow. To understand that sometimes you didn't know how to do any better. To help you find peace of mind. To bring you back to your own skin.
You know who you are. I love you.
Today after many months I opened my eyes and I had peace. I am back in myself. The ghost is finally gone. In a horrible night I asked it to leave. He left, and I am back for real.
You see your naked soul, you visit the limits of all the emotions you can experience, and it is when you lose control, when you trully let go of everything when you hit rock bottom.
You realize that personal definition is a continuous path and the sheet can be blank again.
Can one really get to a point in which one can say one is trully self aware? Can one really reach a point in which personal awareness and acceptance is such that one achieves true harmony, balance and freedom?
Sometimes you feel you have lost yourself and you don't have an idea of who you are anymore. It is that point, the lowest point, when you realize that there are people that love you, not because of who you are, not because of what you do for them, not because of the constant effort you can do to be nice, to meet what you assume were their expectation of you, because of a promise of unconditionality you made, but because they simply love you and who you can become because they saw into your soul when everything was going so fast in circles that you lost comprenhension.
It is the consequence of an unspoken promise. To be there no matter what. To slap you to come back to your senses. To hug you in the deepest of your pain. To take you back home. To make you breakfast and help you put all the pieces together and make you feel home. To stand up for you when no one else will. To leave a party to be on the phone across the continent at 5am to share your sorrow. To understand that sometimes you didn't know how to do any better. To help you find peace of mind. To bring you back to your own skin.
You know who you are. I love you.
Today after many months I opened my eyes and I had peace. I am back in myself. The ghost is finally gone. In a horrible night I asked it to leave. He left, and I am back for real.
Labels: Reflexion
posted by M at 7:59 PM
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