Where are Dublin's Garas?

I am sitting in a corporate office already for three hours today when I decide to have a sneak to nomadlife.org It seems the bloggers are sort of getting bored and want to find new ways of blogging and discussing around different topics.

I see a comment left by Tom Gara. Tom and I sat pretty much on the same desk for a decent amount of months. And as I remember him in Rotterdam in total agony caused by the Dutch rain wearing A trash bag, I can also remember him in total happiness and harmony in Egypt while we were eating amazing and super cheap Egyptian food somewhere in Cairo.

Point being: It doesn’t matter if living in a country that could allow all room to an uneventful life or in a noisy place like Cairo, Tom Gara’s blog is always full of Tom-ness. I guess it is a mix of eloquence and wittiness together with an amazing ability to find unusual events what makes this man one of the best story tellers ever.

And the thing is… now I am sitting 9 to 5 in a corporate office in Dublin (also once Gara’s home) which totally lacks excitement while Tom is driving on the dessert in UAE; but not that long ago, being located in the same uneventful point of the world Tom’s comments conducted us to interesting conversations around topics like the subjective perception we have of time, to what is the sexiest language in the world, and many others.

I wonder where all the great Garas have hidden in Dublin. They simply bring so much more to life than what it regularly is…

Yes, it is missing the ER dudes, but it is missing that non classical sharpness you got to know in your group of friends, knowing then you were probably spending time with the greatest minds you will get to know in your lifetime.

Kryptonite?

Warning: This is incredibly random but it reflects my feelings...

Ok, let's say that Superman gets to a point in his life in which his super powers are not necessary anymore and he finds an antidote to Kryptonite, as in... he know if he does X, Y, Z, Kryptonite will do nothing to him, but he knows it may harm the people from Krypton living in the planet.

Later someone finds that Kryptonite has properties that can make people live longer, and someone is offering stocks of a company that will commercialize the use of Kryptonite to make people live longer. This may mean that Kryptonite will be all over the place and that those people coming from Krypton may be threatened, but it also means that humans affected with a weird desease that accelerates longevity may be cured.

Loise Lane appeared to have this weird desease... What will Clark Kent do? Invest all the money he made out of Superman comic books to develop the medicine as fast as possible and save Loise on the expense of those possible survivors from Krypton? This is a riddle, it doesn't matter what he does, this will not end up good.

So he goes to his uncle and aunt to talk about the issue. He even goes to his old boss in the news paper and Lex Luthor, and the advice is... save freaking Loise you idiot! So he goes and puts all his money to save Loise. It seems she will be safe although you never know...

One day he receives mail saying: You may have permanently harmed those of your kind! What kind of morals do you have? You are such a disappointment!

What to do now? Oh yeah, feel like crap. It is not like he will kill Loise to be fair.

Of victory and failure

Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. It is a fact of life. A door closes and a window opens. It is time to leave AIESEC. The hitlist has been written. Ready to go. Back to corporate life in 4 months. Again new people and a new country with a new perspective on life. Some chances are already there, some one must find, in any case the hunt has started. No pain, no gain.

The Sun is shining in R'dam. The spring has come hopefully to stay. New places to discover, old places filled with memories to revisit. Time to find a partner in crime for them.

Leaving Hungary...

I am about to take the metro to leave Budapest. I feel nostalgic. I feel the nosalgia you feel when you leave home... This city is full of memories and discoveries... of challenges and the windows towards the future. Will write more later... but I am already missing it.

I enjoy coming to Hungary very much, not only because of the beauty of the country and its people, but because each time I come to Hungary I learn a lot about myself and those I care about in a way or another. Every time I leave Budapest I become someone new.

It has been a couple of weeks of intense work, of meeting lots of people that know me somehow, or know people I know; Of sharing stories, finding out who we are and maybe have fun together.

I love the people I worked with. The commitment of the MC towards the development of the conference; the passion and experience with which facilitators are doing their best with each single session. It doesn’t matter if they are LCPs, OCPs or new MC they merge into an amazing energy that sparks laughter… I feel like someone really small orchestrating the efforts of this wonderful people that through their actions teach me more about who I am and who I can be.

I had the chance to catch up with Zsolt with a delightful meal. We shared how his life is shaping, how he is achieving success and realization, and the point is… I am so happy for him. He is one of the people whose smile and happiness will produce an enormous satisfaction and fulfillment in my heart, and who I know genuinely wishes only very good things for me, and whose heart really hurts because mine was.

Other small stories in this lovely hungarian trip:

• Being lmost ripped off by controllers but getting away from it cleverly enough.
• Broke a table dancing with KiZsééé.
• Eating at Menza in Liszt Ferenc Ter. Hungarian Food... amazing. Intended for a meal became almost a daily. The interior is awesome, it is like being trapped in a retro box.
  
• Rom Kert was burned down to ruins (but will be fixed real soon).
• Staying at the Gellert hills, and looking down at the beautiful city each night.
  
• Incognito concert in A38.
• Going to an openning party of classy Club Non Sense with Zsolti and the dudes.
• Playing pool with Kéner, and losing but everytime less ridiculously.
• Nagy pancakes :))))
• Boat race + global village + normally cheap drinks = Lots of fun and random moments with friends.
• Amazing conversations with Eszter, Petra and Csenge.
• Long cool discussions with KiZsééé and let's not forget the jokes and non stopping laughter :)
• Met Zsolt's brother. Tamás is hilarious!
• Celebrated Easter the Hungarian way with the Kéners, nowhere else it would have been nicer :)
  
• Bryan and I insulting eachother in Hungarian for entertainment of all the present Hungrians.
  
• My openning speach in Hungarian!!!
  
• Trip with Tram 2.... a dream! You can see the houses of parlament and the chain bridge with an easy walk to Deak Ferenc Ter.
  
• Meeting tons of people from BCE who are super fun and cool.
• Shopping :)
• Going to the Opera and enjoying Puccini.
  
• Oh! And the really long hours of work every day between meetings and work that gave me a productive feeling.
• Ch*t! F*er! N*szi! and B*ch!
• What a dinner in Spoon with the wonderful view of the Danube, nothing was missing. No one was either :) More romantic than this you cannot have :)
  
• And probybly many more to come to my mind hahaha

Here some pics from my phone as the beautiful ones are to come

Another E-mail was sent!

I am in beautiful Budapest once again! It is amazing as always and I enjoy my life crazily being here. So... I sent another mail. I spoke about it with very few people that supported me so much while sending this mail. Thank you so much to Petr, Lanch, Amit, Kíszsééé, Lara, Ralph and Argentina. And super super specially to Aron. It is again time to show the best I got no matter against whom or without whom I am on it. An update from Budapest is coming soon when in the Paris of CEE the Sun is shining and life has turned to perfection once again. Hungarian kisses with a different Hungarian perspective :)

Stockholm!

Walking Stockholm has been awesome. I confirm the previous rumor of this country lacking ugly and non-stylish people. The only really interesting thing is that like in UK, you can see a constant fashion trend that is followed by most. In terms of language.. yeah... Swedish. Worry not, I won't start learning Swedish... yet. I am still stuck with Hungarian.

From my side, got a new style that I think looks awesome, if I manage to reproduce what they did with y hair.

Next stop is Hungary! Of course I speak a tiny bit more Hungarian than my last visit. I will be chairing a conference and working on an exchange meeting. Chairing is an opportunity of which I am extra super excited, and I hope the AIESECers there are ready for my really random self in a feel-reborn period.

I won't spend much time in BP or have too much time free, but of course I have managed to squeeze some days free in the very end of the trip despite the very tight agenda I have between conference, exchange meeting and a couple of corporate meetings, to catch up with Zsolti (the one of two men I can fully trust and have never made me drop a single tear) and see my other friends. I love those people... we always have a blast!

Can I already say "I can barely wait for the parties in cool places with cheap cocktails, the cute guys and the magic tricks"?

Szia helyes srác! Hogy vagy?;)

Egypt was the point to switch

Egypt was a time for discovery... for redefinition... for findings...

I thought I knew someone, but I don't. I met myself again. I am expensive, not many can afford me.
I love my friends... those that are, those that were and those that will be. They know my price and remind me of it.

Unconditionallity, loyalty, honesty and commitment are concepts I question. Do they really exist? Are the concepts themselves too high for human beings to accomplish? The chicken and the pork...

Who/what's worth it? Self abandonment. Letting go... truly forgiving, truly loving and moving on.

Ignorance is bliss... sometimes you find out things you really didn't want to, but sometimes you were the person meant to see. Seeing is facing fears, sometimes it is pain, gathering courage and overcoming, bouncing back... growing up, leaving behind if it is not possible to catch the passe or pay the price.

Idle thoughts in an idle night in which life feels different.

Egypt and IPM - To create and destroy... in the end just accept

So much has happened, so much has changed. It is hard to grasp it and put it into words.

Life is about to change, yet more, as some theories got confirmed and caused many feelings, other theories were created, giving birth to a new possibility of life.

Will be back on writing and of course pictures posting once my thoughts have more of a structure on this amazing three weeks. In the mean time you can already see some pictures and thoughts in some of my friends' blogs.

Life is looking different, and I am looking different at myself.

I forgot it was carnaval?

Unbelievable but true! I forgot it was Carnaval! It is not celebrated in the north of The Netherlands, and as the heavy days are not there yet, there were no drunken, dressed up people to remind me of the fact that it is carnaval season, plus I am busy enough with other things to keep my mind into it.

So how did I remember? Well... going to the hair dresser for the monthly appointment I walk in front of a cafe and I hear this loud and horrible music characteristic for these days.

No... no Rosen Montag this year, no Maastricht parade... Egypt in IPM is to be!

Can't hardly wait to meet so many old friends for one last time in an AIESEC conference, and to see how life after it will be.

ER Team in Madrid

In the search of an artistic Self

It is funny how in the past couple of weeks I have ended up talking with different colleagues about how they artistically express their feelings and thoughts. Somehow these conversations together with some discussions in our team have started people's urge to experiment and feel different arts and methods of "self realization". In my case, as I wrote a sad sonet in the beginning of the week, I sketched a large field with a lonely olive tree and I ended talking about poetry with a couple of people, we ended up having a poetic night in Hofdijk, after team dinner.

Somehow our team dinner night, even if not in our house any more, it is mostly deserted, but we have managed to have very interesting and meaningful conversations. Last night, about poetry and historical contexts that shape literary currents, and everyone brought their favorite poem, mostly in their native language and translated primitively into English, with as many explanations as possible to be able to transmit a feeling.

Mine, written in the end of the XIX century, by an artist who was forced to study medicine, and who committed suicide in love dispair is universal. After year I keep loving it, and I keep feeling it, somehow as time goes by it keeps its meaning, it keeps its feelings. From Manuel Acuna, A Rosario.

A Rosario

¡Pues bien! yo necesito
decirte que te adoro
decirte que te quiero
con todo el corazón;
que es mucho lo que sufro,
que es mucho lo que lloro,
que ya no puedo tanto
al grito que te imploro,
te imploro y te hablo en nombre
de mi última ilusión.
II
Yo quiero que tu sepas
que ya hace muchos días
estoy enfermo y pálido
de tanto no dormir;
que ya se han muerto todas
las esperanzas mías,
que están mis noches negras,
tan negras y sombrías,
que ya no sé ni dónde
se alzaba el porvenir.
III
De noche, cuando pongo
mis sienes en la almohada
y hacia otro mundo quiero
mi espíritu volver,
camino mucho, mucho,
y al fin de la jornada
las formas de mi madre
se pierden en la nada
y tú de nuevo vuelves
en mi alma a aparecer.
IV
Comprendo que tus besos
jamás han de ser míos,
comprendo que en tus ojos
no me he de ver jamás,
y te amo y en mis locos
y ardientes desvaríos
bendigo tus desdenes,
adoro tus desvíos,
y en vez de amarte menos
te quiero mucho más.
V
A veces pienso en darte
mi eterna despedida,
borrarte en mis recuerdos
y hundirte en mi pasión
mas si es en vano todo
y el alma no te olvida,
¿Qué quieres tú que yo haga,
pedazo de mi vida?
¿Qué quieres tu que yo haga
con este corazón?
VI
Y luego que ya estaba
concluído tu santuario,
tu lámpara encendida,
tu velo en el altar;
el sol de la mañana
detrás del campanario,
chispeando las antorchas,
humeando el incensario,
y abierta alla a lo lejos
la puerta del hogar...
VII
¡Qué hermoso hubiera sido
vivir bajo aquel techo,
los dos unidos siempre
y amándonos los dos;
tú siempre enamorada,
yo siempre satisfecho,
los dos una sola alma,
los dos un solo pecho,
y en medio de nosotros
mi madre como un Dios!
VIII
¡Figúrate qué hermosas
las horas de esa vida!
¡Qué dulce y bello el viaje
por una tierra así!
Y yo soñaba en eso,
mi santa prometida;
y al delirar en ello
con alma estremecida,
pensaba yo en ser bueno
por tí, no mas por ti.
IX
¡Bien sabe Dios que ese era
mi mas hermoso sueño,
mi afán y mi esperanza,
mi dicha y mi placer;
bien sabe Dios que en nada
cifraba yo mi empeño,
sino en amarte mucho
bajo el hogar risueño
que me envolvió en sus besos
cuando me vio nacer!
X
Esa era mi esperanza...
mas ya que a sus fulgores
se opone el hondo abismo
que existe entre los dos,
¡Adiós por la vez última,
amor de mis amores;
la luz de mis tinieblas,
la esencia de mis flores;
mi lira de poeta,
mi juventud, adiós!