Deciding to die
She wrote the letter. The moment of brief happiness caused her to have different thoughts about the need to die, but she had taken the pills and it was too late to look back.
In any case she had ha brief moments of happiness like that one before, and she was not killing herself because she was a sad bitter woman that lived constantly as victim of constant depression. She had spent many afternoons of her life walking care free on the streets of Ljubljana or looking from the window of her room in the monastery, the snow falling on the small square where there was the statue of the poet. Once she had been floating on the clouds almost for a month because a stranger, in the center of that same square had given her a flower.
She considered herself a perfectly normal person. Her decision to die was based on two very simple reasons, and she was sure that if she would leave a note explaining them, many people would be able to understand.
First reason: Everything in her life was the same and once her youth was over, decadence would come, age would leave un-erasable marks, sickness would come and her friends would go away. In the end, stay on living was adding no value, doing so was just increasing the chances to suffer.
The second reason was more philosophical: Veronika read the newspapers, watched TV and was informed about everything happening in the world. Everything was wrong, and she could do nothing about it, which was giving her a useless feeling.
Shortly, nevertheless, she would have the last experience of her life: death. She wrote the letter to the magazine, and left the issue on the side, she focused on more important things and more according to what she was living - or dying - en that minute.
She tried to imagine how would it be to die, but she got no result. In any case, she didn't have to worry about that, as she would know it in a few minutes. How many minutes? She had no idea, but she liked to think she would know the answer to was always asking: Does God exist?
Opposite to many, this had not been the greatest inner discussion on her life. In the old communist regime, official education affirmed that life was finished with death.
Being twenty four, and after having lived all she was allowed to - recognized it had to be that it wasn't little -, Veronika had almost absolute certainty that everything was finished with death. That's why she had decided to die: Freedom, in the end. In forgetfulness forever.
In the bottom of her heart she still had the question: And what if God exists? For thousands of years civilizations had made of suicide a taboo, an offense to each religious code: Mankind fights for survival and not to let go. Humankind must reproduce. Society needs a labor force. A couple needs a reason to stay together, even if love has extinguished, and a country needs soldiers, politicians and artists.
"If God exists, which I honestly don't believe, he must know that mankind's understanding has a limit. It was Him who created this chaos, where misery, injustice, greed and loneliness reign. His intention must have been excellent but the outcome was horrible."
Taboos and superstitions can go to hell. Her religious mother would say: God knows the past, the present and the future. And in this case he would have placed her in this world in full knowledge that she would end up killing herself, and he wouldn't be surprised.
It would be a beautiful memory of this life: The sunset, the melody her cozy room, the handsome and full of life young man that had passed, had decided to stop and was coming towards her. She could notice the effects of the pills, and he certainly would be, the last person she would see.
He smiled and she smiled back; she had nothing to lose. He greeted her, and she pretended she was looking at something else. Confused he went on his way to forget forever that face on the window.
Veronika was satisfied she was desired once more. It was not lack of luck the reason for her suicide. Nor the lack of affection from her family, nor financial problems, or an incurable desease.
Veronika decides to die
Paulo Coelho
In any case she had ha brief moments of happiness like that one before, and she was not killing herself because she was a sad bitter woman that lived constantly as victim of constant depression. She had spent many afternoons of her life walking care free on the streets of Ljubljana or looking from the window of her room in the monastery, the snow falling on the small square where there was the statue of the poet. Once she had been floating on the clouds almost for a month because a stranger, in the center of that same square had given her a flower.
She considered herself a perfectly normal person. Her decision to die was based on two very simple reasons, and she was sure that if she would leave a note explaining them, many people would be able to understand.
First reason: Everything in her life was the same and once her youth was over, decadence would come, age would leave un-erasable marks, sickness would come and her friends would go away. In the end, stay on living was adding no value, doing so was just increasing the chances to suffer.
The second reason was more philosophical: Veronika read the newspapers, watched TV and was informed about everything happening in the world. Everything was wrong, and she could do nothing about it, which was giving her a useless feeling.
Shortly, nevertheless, she would have the last experience of her life: death. She wrote the letter to the magazine, and left the issue on the side, she focused on more important things and more according to what she was living - or dying - en that minute.
She tried to imagine how would it be to die, but she got no result. In any case, she didn't have to worry about that, as she would know it in a few minutes. How many minutes? She had no idea, but she liked to think she would know the answer to was always asking: Does God exist?
Opposite to many, this had not been the greatest inner discussion on her life. In the old communist regime, official education affirmed that life was finished with death.
Being twenty four, and after having lived all she was allowed to - recognized it had to be that it wasn't little -, Veronika had almost absolute certainty that everything was finished with death. That's why she had decided to die: Freedom, in the end. In forgetfulness forever.
In the bottom of her heart she still had the question: And what if God exists? For thousands of years civilizations had made of suicide a taboo, an offense to each religious code: Mankind fights for survival and not to let go. Humankind must reproduce. Society needs a labor force. A couple needs a reason to stay together, even if love has extinguished, and a country needs soldiers, politicians and artists.
"If God exists, which I honestly don't believe, he must know that mankind's understanding has a limit. It was Him who created this chaos, where misery, injustice, greed and loneliness reign. His intention must have been excellent but the outcome was horrible."
Taboos and superstitions can go to hell. Her religious mother would say: God knows the past, the present and the future. And in this case he would have placed her in this world in full knowledge that she would end up killing herself, and he wouldn't be surprised.
It would be a beautiful memory of this life: The sunset, the melody her cozy room, the handsome and full of life young man that had passed, had decided to stop and was coming towards her. She could notice the effects of the pills, and he certainly would be, the last person she would see.
He smiled and she smiled back; she had nothing to lose. He greeted her, and she pretended she was looking at something else. Confused he went on his way to forget forever that face on the window.
Veronika was satisfied she was desired once more. It was not lack of luck the reason for her suicide. Nor the lack of affection from her family, nor financial problems, or an incurable desease.
Veronika decides to die
Paulo Coelho
posted by M at 7:03 PM
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