On blogging...

An interesting post from Francois Gossieaux in his Emergence Marketing.

Oh yes... blogging is a global marketing trend too. It allows all sorts of opinions to come out. It builds and breaks reputations and brands.

A blog though is normally a repository of personal experience, in most cases should be taken as that: A point of view. In my case not written to impress anyone but to keep in touch with friends everyone else is pretty much just a bypasser.

Did I have more than 30'000 reads in the past months? Yes. And other people have even more.

Now the point is... are blogs and profiles to be taken as something personal where one has the right to anything they like? Can someone take them as a part of your personal brand?

PS For you, you know who, read better next, at least the complete thing. Do your research before talking. Read the lyrics. It is a good song.

Blogging ethics

Yesterday Nate Ritter posted a comment on my story about Alaska Airlines - bringing up a good point about whether bloggers with a certain audience should refrain from lambasting companies with which they have had bad experiences.

Journalists have a clear code of ethics - as maintained by the Society of Professional Journalists. The code of ethics is built around the basic premise that journalists should “Seek Truth and Report It.” One section of the code says “Distinguish between advocacy and news reporting. Analysis and commentary should be labeled and not misrepresent fact or context.”

But isn’t that what a blog is by definition? This is not a news site. It is a stream of personal commentaries on marketing and sometimes personal experiences.

I am very aware of the power of the blog and its ability to harm in Google searches and the like - and that makes me pause when I have a bad experience with a company. But when the experience goes as far as costing someone $900 out of their own pocket, and when the experience is representative of a whole industry-segment’s trend of disintegrating customer service - does that not give an individual the right to use his or her personal journal to retell the story?

Changing plans. Changing what?

Dear Friends,

Sorry for the vanishing act and thanks for the gazillion mails, calls, messages. Of each day I've been:

Sleeping 4-6 hours
Working 7.5 hours (Submerged in spreadsheets, E-mail, calls or spacing out on the music of my headphones)
Party (Listening to yet more music, drinking, smoking, “dancing”, chatting up total strangers (which is not as bad as it sounds as I barely know anyone, so talking to strangers is not that bad)) 6 hours
Eating 3 hours (Doesn’t take that long as I hate the whole cooking/super market thing at the moment and I am loving the Tesco ready stuff)

So I got a job offer in a good software company in Galway. I have to decide to go or not, but most likely I am not (8 months ago I didn’t even know that place existed, it was already a triumph to find a multinational where I could work there). I have to decide if I stay in Ireland or not... I don't know (Lea is leaving, Solene is leaving and I am too hurt by Google and Accenture and other things, but I am not a quitter: I don’t quit people, jobs or even countries based on the sole reason of things getting hard, that is cowardice).

I’m considering a crazy escape to Asia or a new country in Europe for a few years after settling seems to be a failed mission. If I managed to get a good job in Galway I can get a job wherever I want. Maybe I am not meant to stay anywhere. Maybe I am meant to stay in Dublin, maybe I go to GAlway, impossible to know, won't think about it but will just leave it for my gut to decide.

For those with “the” question in their heads: No, I am not going back to Mexico, my gut tells me it is not the time yet, if ever. Sidney, Tokyo, Chicago, New York, London, Budapest, Munich, Amsterdam, Brussels, Madrid, Prague, Kuala Lumpur come to mind (not leaving Dublin out). I use a good part of my day time for this.

I haven't been in a conversation mood to call you as I usually would, to write mails as I normally do, not even much time is spent on Facebook/Bebo/Hi5/WAYN/Myspace (I keep on only to FB to give myself a break from spreadsheets at work) or to write some lines in my blog (I am not reading about anything, actually not reading or talking about anything interesting at all. My current affairs don’t make nice and diverse posts. It would be all on the lines of “Today I went with X and Y to Z place. Music was so and so. Met A, B, C. C is kinda cute asked my number but no thanks, maybe another time. Drank 2 of this, 3 of that, and that of that. Went to bed and woke up to work.” That would be blogging sh*t.

I am simply in the mood of having fun no matter what, no matter whom or how much brain damage I am causing myself. The point is having fun. I don’t know if I will leave Ireland or not, but in any case I have decided to act as if I was leaving; Reckless as if there is no tomorrow.

Kurt Vonnegut would come out of his grave and strangle me if he read the last paragraph I wrote, it sounds like I had given up on humanity and the future of the world. I haven’t but I am in a very selfish mood of doing as I like avoiding harming others if possible.

I am thinking of getting an extra part time job that involves fun in one of those small companies that organize parties with good music, or simply in a place where people are chilled and the music is good. Chilling and chilled people are badly missed. Just like the dude in the office who is a consultant in the day and a DJ by night... something like that. It is not like I sleep much anyway (ok not talking about meeting time which works for me better than Valium).

So no worries friends, no Ritalin or Prozac for me; only Tequila for several nights and work in the day. Yes, I know this is not a healthy or sustainable lifestyle, but I am enjoying it, and I will give my time to it for some days. Eventually I will be sick of too much fun; maybe after the weekend; maybe the weekend after; maybe until Paddy’s. We will see. Remember I have had my phases.

So if you need anything I am every so often on FB, every so often on Gmail (don’t wait for quick replies though) and you have my number, I am always there. In the end, each day one learns a bit more of what you want or what you don’t, and you also learn a new trick here and there (learned to serve bier from a profi tap and also how to role'em). And yes, I will sort it all out. C’est la vie.

And again, an apology to Kurt Vonnegut: I have used semicolons. I did go to college, I worked hard to pay it, so I may as well use semicolons.

Life is about joy, not about money. I support the practicallity of financial means, but I don't make them a principle or fundamental part of success.

Slainte!

FInally chilling...

So after the graduate recruitment is pretty much done, it is finally time to chill. The last week in Dublin was real busy, Christmas parties, hanging out with colleagues, Laura and Anisha were around for a couple of days, so as Gee (Dude, if you read this one: Keep me posted on your thinking process!).

New projects are on sight and after the googl-ish disappointment some new things are on target.

Despite being decent in Marketing and Management and pretty experienced in Recruitment, I start seeing a serious training on IT as something that is becoming more and more vital for the success of my plans. Maybe within Accenture, we will see...

In the mean time topics like Karma are keeping my mind enterntained. Oh! And cooking! With the chance of setting foot home, I have been to the super market to make sure I cook all the stuff I continuously miss and I will make sure to eat all the grannie recepes necessary.

What else hve I learned lately? Oh yeah... men do go into caves... strange creatures...

A little bit of Dilbert while in the office

Hardcore

It is getting hardcore... Let's summarize the facts that bring me to such a statement:

1. AGING - I just realized I am pretty much 26. It is already 8 years since I started travelling and left home to do things my own way. I was 18 by then.

2. MARRIAGE AND KIDS - Ever since my classmates from Mexico discovered Facebook the only updates I get are weddings and baby pictures. Come on... even the little girl I used to push on the swings has a baby. I am considering to get one of those class pictures and do the cliche of putting a red X on their faces until I am the only single left. Of course my first boyfriend is married, and the one after, and the one after. All married.

3. SCARY - I am not in a hurry. I am not even close to any of the mentioned above, the most serious demonstration of concern around the matter I could have is that I am writing this post. So why does it occur? Famous quote of an ex comes to mind, while giving me lame excuses for what I already knew: I don't want to change my diapers when I am old. Yeah, me neither, and that's why I think about these things.

So what are my concerns? Well... besides having "meaningful thoughts and conversations" every now and then with people that will shake me off my lethargy caused by a terrible regularity in life since I left AI my concerns are (in contrast to ground a family):

1. Buying a ticket to Budapest to see Zsolt in end of December.
2. Buying a ticket to Zürich to visit PK in end January or February.
3. Buying a ticket to Galway.
4. Picking up my tickets to see Bonobo on Saturday.
5. Getting a set of winter make up in Brown Thomas, if not Mac then Clinique or Givenchy.
7. Getting a smoke.
8. Going to the party of the cute dude in the office.
9. Think of a new place to go in case I want to leave Ireland.
10. Put my CV in the market and see my price.
11. Get sleepy so I can work tomorrow (fake, not slightly concerned about sleep although tomorrow I will be dead).

Not even close uh? Anyways... I will get married and have children whenever I grow up and get a slight clue o what to do with my mobile and changing existence... Don't hold your breath (specially you mum!).

Karma

Was it in Rotterdam? No! It was in Dublin

Braserie 66 was packed when Gee and I arrived to have dinner there. When the hostess told us we could wait for two hours we decided to head to somewhere else. After a long walk given the "deep" knowledge I have of the city, we ended up walking by Stephen's Green and we landed in Friday's. Once we sat, we were given the menus to order and then after a few minutes of U2, a familiar sone started... "It could be Rotterdam or anywhere...". I started laughing and made Gee aware of the coincidence of me hearing this song in Dublin while I was having dinner with him. Yes, it could be anywhere hahahaha After a good dinner that finalized in a chocolate fest, we have headed back home to watch movies and series... tomorrow, finally weekend and time to discover more of Dublin with a good friend.

Yes, the times of working till 2am are past... wooohoooo!!!!!

When pride turns into idiocy

I am afraid it is true. I have been living out of reality for the past seven years.

In that parallel reality you have the following:

• People that want to be outstanding even if they already are
• People that enjoy what they do
• People that find fulfillment in intellectual stimuli
• People want to challenge their own perspectives
• People that actively want to improve as human beings
• People that connect in an almost magical way
• People that value and respect each other authentically
• People that will put in to achieve
• People that will be proud of what they do
• People that want to cause fundamental change around them
• People that commit towards the greater good
• People that want to leave something better behind them
• People that will admire all the above

When 2am is becoming the usual

Yes, my flat is wonderful, my roommates are the best I could have wished for, luck smiled at me, but... I barely have time to see them as 2am in the office is becoming the usual.

After I left AI I never thought such thing as becoming friends with the night guard could happen again. I thought it happened to consultants but not to HR people. Yet, here I am again, on the borderline of seeing no one and not managing time for grocery-shopping.

No overreaction, I am alone in the office. The last consultant left a good couple of hours ago and slowly there is a struggle in my body between the desire for rest and the stimulation of achievement and perfection.

How much does this mental problem worth in the corporate world? Probably more than I am getting even if I was not paying emergency taxes...

I work in a consultancy firm

Happy consultancy firm... makes me remember the good old AIESEC days as I can see the dusk of the sunraise in from the office windows. Official I work here...

Sorry friends for disappearing, but with these lines above you can get a picture on the level of madness... Back in the old dilemma work-life... carefully and delicatelly balanced.

Weakness for geekness

Is it the misterious attitude?

I don't open my mouth so you know nothing about me.

It is the smartness they project behind their computers?

I am quietly observing you from my computer where I am doing something I betcha you don't know how to do because it is very advanced?

Is it their whole startegy?

I pretend I am your friend so that suddenly you think about me even if I am quiet.

Is it the whole clumpsy shyness?

I will never say anything but I when I get all my courage to do so I will say something so nerdy yet so sweet and innocent that you will not be able to resist.

What is it that makes IT geeks so attractive?

I bring this question to the table when I realize I fall over and over for different types of IT geeks. That many girls in my university felt for geeks, that all the geeks around me are dating hot chicks, and that it seems hanging out with IT geeks is becoming the ultimate. I mean, now a days geeks can be very stylish and well dressed walking around with their i-objects. The whole stereotype of checked shirt, pencil on the hair and calculator in the pocket is in the past.

In my case the desease is so advanced that when this geeky cute colleague of mine finally opened his mouth I muttered and went the colour of Rudolph's nose. Which now has set the poor man into looking from the distance over his screen. Is it that my dad is an IT geek? Should we talk to Freud? Maybe simply ask my mom?

What is your opinion. Do you have a weakness for geekness?

I have a flat!!!

Old saying is: God rewards those who have patience.

Read my previous post. I had lost any hope of finding any place to live. I had left any kind of expectations and kept viewing places in auto-pilot.

I saw a couple of good ones, and many ugly ones. I didn't get either.

Last night, after an extremely long day of work I was at home, and I pushed myself to another viewing even if I was pretty convinced I wouldn't get it.

So, I pulled my last bits of energy and I went there. The flat was perfect and 1.5 minutes away from my office, and the people living there were super cool. A Hungarian, a Dutch and two French.

I had passed the building a million times, each time I left or arrive to/from work, thinking what a dream would be to live there. Not only the building is nice and modern, so as the area, but I wouldn't worry ever again about rain in the morning, I would never spent a cent more in busses, as the city center is ten minutes away.

So today, as I thought maybe Nat would be calling to tell me he finally catched a plane, there was the guy from the flat.

"Hey Maria, Szilard here" and then he told me... I got it!!!

I cannot believe it!!! I almost jumped of happiness and screamed in the middle of our open space. I have a base!!!

On Monday I will go to fix all details. This is just brilliant. Life cannot get any better.

Cool job, amazing flatmates, fast moving city, nice colleagues, one of my best friends visiting and the owner of my heart to be seen soon. L-O-V-E-L-Y ! ! ! Ireland is getting better and better. Once I finish with the red tape, life has the potential to be perfect.

Welcome in the Gallery Quay! My new home!

Starting to lose it

Looking for a flat here is harder than looking for a job as ridiculous as it may sound. Nice places with more than 20 people interested, ugly places with more than 20 people interested, and not interestingly enough, places inhabited by weirdos from with the 20 people that were interested run.

I love the MC girls, but at this point I am literraly missing a bed too much. Missing a place to keep my stuff too much. I have no idea what I'd do without them. Yet I am exhausted of the routine of working 8-9 hours, and maybe an extra to make it 10 before I can get lost in the city for a good couple of hours and see one or two places.

Going for a third week of flat hunting with no luck, and as the work load is exponentially increasing there is less and less time to do things like flat hunting or the bureaucratic stuff the Irish government is coming up with.

Today I have the surprise... as I dont have my social security number for which they will take God knows how long, they will take 50% of my salary, which they will kindly return by the end of the year.

Not having a flat makes the whole full schedule I have from now and untill Christmas and all the paper work something worrying.

I keep trying to think that fate will bring me the perfect place to live. But in reality, my expectations are getting reduced to almost nothing as I can have a room I can call my territory or Irish base.

Mich is coming also from Rotterdam for the weekend, but amongst the AIESEC fellowship it all gets sorted.

Fun and some chilling is on the way... I hope.

Outsourcing?

In the past few years, people speak so much about outsourcing and offshoring, write so many books about it that it has somehow become a bit cliché to speak about it when you are talking business. Anyone who is interested in business generally will speak about it as the latest business fad, even if it is there for a while, and even if we are not aware of it, it is a part of our daily global lives, and almost each supply chain we use.

About a year ago, I remember I had a laugh when I watched "Call Center". A short film that full of irony, tells the story of how call centers from multinationals move to India to serve callers from all over the world. And still after I read "The World is Flat" I was not able to notoriouously identify how outsourcing was having a direct impact in my life even if I knew it was having it regardless of me noticing or not. I was not able to see it, because I was never calling any help desk, and the closest thing I had to call an IT helpdesk and being helped by an indian, was screaming to Abhishek across the AI office when the internet wasn't working, and as Abhi was anyways with us, he was an internal IT technician, and we were not outsourcing anything. He would simply go mad with all our requests.

And lately, I had outsourcing in my face. Now it is alive, and it is not because a huge company we all knows lives in our computers outsources several processes to Accenture in Ireland, being a quite important client, but because without really knowing it, I called India.

It is early in the morning, and I need to check several things online, but every single time I use Explorer the computer freezes (I don't like Explorer, but Mozilla doesn't work in my Accenture laptop). I restart the computer, same thing. Open and close things. Same thing. I am sooo losing my patience, and I think of simply reinstalling the thing, but I cannot do it, because obviously with such a problem I could not download anything either, so I go to the IT department desperate, in hope to find a substitute to sweet Abhishek or the cool Gee. The IT people have their own glass box, where no one from our open space should disturb them. They are surrounded with computers and laptops all over the place. To get in, you have to knock, and they will open. No one can simply open the door. And so, when the girl inside saw me in desperation she opened the door.

I gave her my laptop and told her all the story. She was about to check it out, when she asked "Have you called CIO?". I answered honestly that I hadn't because I had a software problem that couldn't be solved by someone telling me how to click some menus in my computer, like guiding me to activate cookies or something, but that I really honestly thought I needed to reinstall. "Call CIO" she told coldly, as she handed me a paper with an extension number. I be to myself I'd be back in five minutes, when the person on the phone would say he/she couldn't help me and I would have to pay the IT people a visit in their box.

So I dial. A man in a british accent picks up. After a few minutes I realize he is actually a camouflaged indian accent. And for a remark at the greeting I realize he actually is in India. He asks me a few questions, and gives me few instructions that I follow before what I expected would be an order to go to the IT girl again, but instead, my computer started doing things on its own, or well... the dude was doing stuff in my computer remotely asking me to insert passwords here and there when it was necessary. I have no idea of how it happened, but after a 40 minutes call my computer was up and running, and that is what I call outsourcing.

Prices, prices... what a scary thing

Ireland and its prices has me horrified. My Dutch Euros are flying at top speed, and most of the time I wonder how. I swear I have stayed away from designer shops and anything related to Stephens Green Mall, Grafton Street or Wicklow Street (where I had the bad luck to discover two two stories temptations on the tags of Tommy Hilfiger and Camper). I swear I have stayed off the most expensive alcoholic drinks in the bar (no Cosmo, Long Island Ice Tea, etc.). I swear I even cook most of the days (only eating out once a week in Brasserie 66, and once in Starbucks), and still.

It is always a bit harder in the first month of a new country, so I try to chill.

I mean... I remember in AI we would cook with tons of peppers (better known as paprika) as they are tasty and cheap, and just yesterday as I was planning to cook chilli, I found peppers in the supermarket. How much were they? 1.20 per pepper. I was astonished. I had already stayed away from Fresh, where all the fancy people shop and everything looks immaculate and pay way too much for the same thing, and yet this pepper was an absolute vegetarian delicacy compared to Dutch or German prices.

So what to do if you are in Germany and you want to save as much money as possible? You go to LIDL. And surprise! In Dublin there is LIDL, which gave me hope for normal prices if not amazing quality for the first month of my stay in Dublin. So I walked 20 minutes to LIDL (which is considered "close by" here) to do my weekly shopping as I decided to stop thinking and comparing my German prices to the new Irish ones (a German colleague of mine confessed to me the other day that when she goes back to Germany, she fills her suitcase with toilettry on the way back as she has a trauma with the Irish prices on toilettry) in order to save me from madness.

So I walk down all the isles and get to the freezer... oh! I know that purple box. That box contains those cheap nuggets we would fry when we were broke by the end of the month when I was back in University. I was surprised to find something familiar if not delicious. In Germany they would cost 2 Euro... My eyes go up... 4 Euro. AAAAHHHHHH!!!!!

Get me out of there!... this is the most expensive cheap food in the world!

So I went through my groceries list and left, wondering again, why I am spending so much.

Accenture got it right

Yes, headed to the future. I'm in Accenture and I love it. Week one and I can do my own thing after I explained my ideas and they made sense. They got it right, it is not about what I did, but what I want to do. I am still flatless, and yes, I am dead from walking Dublin from side to side each day, but I have the feeling I landed in the right place. What you say doesn't matter, what you do, does.

The smallest flat in the world

As finally all my stuff is sorted in Dublin, and now I am two days into my job, I have started looking for a flat actively by visiting places and not only mailing people. I have seen very interesting "living" spaces, and today I had the chance to see the smallest flat in the world.

In the center of Dublin, this tiny place on a second floor of what was once a big house is so tiny that you can walk all though it in 5 steps, and its master bedroom fits a two persons bed with no space even to step of it. The living room is taken over by a small flat and the kitchen is super small as well. Nice area, but very dark place... never imagined something as small and expensive. For this wonderful falling apart plce you pay ONLY 400 Euro a month. What a bargain!

Oh! and only two people more would live there...

The suburbs are now coming in consideration.

Of networking tools and screaming in Maltese

Netowrking tools. It doesn't matter how much I try to avoid them, I have to have more and more of them as each different social circle of mine uses one, so in the end the distribution goes as follows:

Linked in: For my older AIESEC friends
Facebook: for the global trotters
Xing: For the Germans
MySpace: For the Americans
Bebo: For the Irish
IWIW: For the Hungarian

And so, I have ended up hating almost all of them, except Facebook, which I love, because so much is on there and its magnificent user interface. So as I have heard of many others, I have refused to add more. It is already stupid to be subscribed to six of them. But all in all, I never found any of my classmates from back in Mexico in them, and I seriously started wondering, why it was that they had not integrated in the global fad of internet networking tools. Theories many, until talking on MSN to Elisa, a very old friend, she told me the trick: They all are in yet another networking tool. Hi5... Oh no! No more. Elisa shared hers with me to see some pictures, and then I realized how many people from school were there, and so I ended joining. In the end, it is weird to find out your best friend is pregnant 5 months late in an idle night in a random conversation with someone else.

The new experience of reconnecting to the people I grew up with and whom I barely contacted in the last 7 years has brought several discoveries... about 70% is already married, 20% are engaged and 10% are pursuing a second degree. 90% is still in Mexico. As always they make me feel old and nuts.

So these were my thoughts before coming to Dublin. It seems to be a city full of movement, of which I have not discovered much more than migration offices and what was included in a city tour I decided to take yesterday to have a geographical notion of what there is to see and where is what.

I have been hanging out with people from AIESEC and staying in the MC flat untill I find a place to live and Nathan comes back to Ireland from Spain as I really know absolutely no one. That is the only way you are living in a flat with 8 more people and waking up on a Sunday morning to the sound of arguing in Maltese. Yes, the start of a new life.

Next week, work in Accenture starts.

Yellow

After working in DHL I developed a certain dislike for yellow clothes if they were not related to the company, same went for cutlery or any bright yellow article, but well... I have changed from color pink to yellow.

And the thing is that, sometimes when you could not have a worse possible day, you try to stay possitive and yes... some good things come out from there. Last Friday I was supposed to travel to Budapest to visit Zsolti, but somehow the stars conspired against it happening.

As I woke up on Friday and got ready to get some stuff done and seeing Nathan before leaving to Hungary, I realized my debit cards and money were stolen in the party of the previous night, that was... deliciously wild. This triggered a set of events (running from bank to bank and cancelling cards, finding a way to get money, etc which is a very interesting challenge with the "excellence of the Dutch service"), that ended on me being on time for the last possible train I could take to go to Amsterdam Schiphol to take my flight.

So far so good you'd say, but no... the conductor of the damn train would not let me board. Big gorilla in front of the door. W*! No one in the freakin station would help me with a different way to get to Schiphol that was not waiting for 30 minutes to take the next direct train. Yes... I arrived before take off, but this time, no puppy face helped, no crocodile tears did the trick, not even neurotical looks and evil comments, I stayed in Schiphol watching my plane leaving without me and texting Zsolt letting him know I was not coming.

I called Nathan who supportively heard me complain bittterly on my luck, and decided to head back to Rotterdam after finding other options to go to Hungary that were not cheaper than 400 Euro. Nothing else could go wrong... I bought a magazine stuffed with scientific advancements and possitive thinking and took the train back to the Rotown.

As I was sitting on the train, two young girls, who went to Amsterdam without permission from their parents asked me if I could wake them up when we reached Rotterdam, but the train failed us. Well... let's declare the innocence of the train company for this once. As we reached The Hague a $%/(@ decided to jump in front of the train, and in that way, my trip of 50 minutes back to Rotterdam turned to 2.5 hours and the girls got busted.

Deep breath I thought... I texted Nate to tell him I would call him when I would be back in town to catch him wherever he was hanging out. And so, when we reached Rotterdam Alexander I took my phone out of my pocket... it blinked, invalid battery... yes... my Motorola Razr died. After 1.5 years of heavy duty it died in my hands when I needed it. Now there really was nothing else that could go wrong.

I used one of the girls' phones to use my sim card and call him, but there was a message already. "I am waiting for you at Paddy's with a big hug and a kiss. X". And so, nothing else went wrong, my night concluded in a large amount of Bailey's and on me hearing one song to my ear... and it changed my color, no, not pink anymore, now it is yellow, it was Coldplay.

So what else is there to say? I hate I am not in Budapest with my friends, I am missing the amazing weather and the open bars, but on the other hand... I am still so happy that I cannot handle it, surprisingly in Rottterdam. I am happy, I am in peace, I am free.

On other news... other companies are liking my CV. There are cool chances with TCS in London and with Accenture in Dublin. They will interview me and see what's the story. Also I passed to the second phase on the Alcatel Lucent selection process which involves... sweet talk about an unknown topic for 30 minutes. We will see...

Don't call me. My phone is dead.

Round 1

Tomorrow 1pm GMT: Alcatel-Lucent, London
Keep your fingers crossed.

(!) Horoscope for tomorrow: Tuesday August 14th, 2007

A person that you meet today can have a lasting impact, and you tend to connect more than superficially. Someone appreciates your power and the influence that you have. Being valued brings out your passion which can make your partner’s day. Pleasure is intense now, and you know how to handle it.

Monday Exhaustion

I have no idea why, but I am exhausted. Since the morning I have been yawning and I am sure I slept enough in the weekend. From the beginning of the day, there were tons of things to do and in the end I achieved so little. The phone rang non stop with small requests that not always made sense, and yet had to get done.

I so dislike when such a day happens... you wonder where did time go and if you did anything at all.

PS. Und inswischen ich gebe mir die Mühe über die Menschen die in der Nähe sind mich zu kümmern und mit dennen Zeit zu verbringen wenn eigentlich ihnnen ist es egal ob ich da bin oder nicht. Ich bin total müde von das Fragen ob sie was unternehmen wollen oder nicht, wenn die Antwort ist immer das gleiche: Sie haben zu viel zu tun und haben kein Lust...

Morgen Frankreich. Fast vorbei (Got sei dank!).

Finally squashing

Finally I have played squash! I have been trying to do it since September or so, but the few super competitive males that I know use to play squash seemed so far to find it impossible to have patience for me to learn instead of challenging each other.

Girls have only recently joined the matches after the boys finally let one girl play. I think that those guys were only letting that girl play because one of them has a crush on her (or at least that is my theory) to the point of him acting like a puppy, but anyways the involvement from more people started happening and that is a good thing (guys acting like puppies and my theory on how successful that can be will be discussed in another post).

In any case, as there are more people in the office and there are different interests finally someone has appeared with the patience to play with me. It has been so extremely fun!

It seems that I am not a lost case! Thanks to my tennis classes few years back I can serve and hit the ball quite ok. I just need to get stronger arms to hit it harder as well as losing the fear to smash myself against a wall or wracking something/someone, but that will come quickly :)

It is so nice, to have an activity that is fun and allows you to use your energy. I feel even more awake and in a better mood even if it is cloudy.

I wonder if I will be able to keep on this activity after August wherever I go. But until then... SQUASH! SQUASH! SQUASH!

I can already see me and Kener playing in the holidays...

A posse ad esse

Is Schonheit alles? Sie kann alles sein für die Menschen die glauben dass sie sie nicht bessessen. Alle glauben dass gut aussehende Menschen haben perkekte Lebensgeschichten nur weil sie schon sind. Aber wer denkt dass schon zu sein kann su einen Problem werden? Nicht viele.

Ich weiß nicht wenn dass war. Der Tag in dem ich entscheiden habe dass auch wenn ich nicht der schonste Mensch der Welt bin, konnte ich gut aufpassen um so gut wie möglich auszusehen, es schädet niemanden, und ja... ich dachte dass gut aussehende Menschen schaffen Freundschaften schneller, haben mehr Spaß und... es wäre einfacher erfolgreich zu sein, keine Ahnung was dass bedeuten konnte. Endlich ich mag auch den gefühl dass ich kriege, wenn ich im Spiegel sehe und denke „Ja, du kannst dich nicht schämen, es passt“.

Wenn ich in meine Vergangenheit sehe... ich bin ja sehr viel verändert. Es gibt nichts viel mehr von die scheu, leise Mädel die kein Make up trägt, sich überhaupt nicht über Kleidung kümmert aber über alle Themen sprechen kann und nur ein Paar Freundinen hat, mit dennen sie Basketball spielt und über der ein Jung spricht Jahrenlang obwohl er sie nie merken wird. Aber wer bin ich geworden? Was ist eigentlicht diese Jahr passiert?

Nach 10 Monate mit den selben Menschen es ist sehr schwer zu entdecken dass sie vielleicht keine Ahnung haben von wer ich bin. Der Bild dass viele von dennen über mich haben tut weh. Es sieht so aus als die einzige gute Eigenschaft dass ich zum Team mitgebracht habe ist dass ich schon bin, außerdem es sieht so aus als ich ein oberflächiges und unfrohiges Mensch wäre dass kein Glück im Leben findet. Eine die nie genug haben konnte, und mein Freund zu sein... es muß eine sehr schewere Tätigkeit sein. Ist es wirklich so? Ich habe es gehört vom Menschen dass ich als Freunde wertete, und vielleicht der einzige dass mich besser kennen konnte glaubt an dieselbe Geschichte.

Wie so interessiert mich wass andere Menschen denken? Was konnte ich tun um diese Gedanken zu verändern? Auch wenn nicht alles richtig ist, es gibt Gründe vor alle diese Urteile und ein paar dieser Menschen sind für mich wichtig und ich würde hassen wenn sie so was über mich denken. Ich würde für dennen anders sein, ein bisschen anders das ist. Vielleicht muß ich mehr Zeit mit ihnnen verbringen auch wenn ich wenig Zeit habe, mich um alle meine Beziehungen zu kümmern.

Wieder in einer wirtschafliche Entscheidungspunkt. Was sind Kosten, und was wird zu eine Investition?

After a good night of fun...

After a good night of fun you see yourself climbing upstairs in a clumpsy way. You had a good night independently from who was there. Your brain cannot stop while nothing is going around you do feel like an obsever of your own self. You wonder so many things... How did you get here? A friend wakes up and wonders if you are doing fine. So you start asking youself how much you spent tonight... you have no idea. How did everything happen? Why did everything happen? You wonder in which moment everything died and went to waste. Your rommmate will come soon, hopefully before you have to leave to go back home. The good thing of home is that it represents another world where pain barely exists. You ask yourself... How could I be so stupid? It has been an entire year and you remain an anonymous character, no one wondered who you are, they just judged you, but who the heck cares about that? In the end you are alone on your bed, writing for the effects of several things to go away and your rommate to come back home.

One year later...

You have a zillion movies that at some point present you a short blck screen shot with white text in the middle reding "One year later", and then you will see the same characters that appeared in the scene before the black screen in a similar or diferent situation.

One year ago, Rafael and I were sitting on the Elisebrunen park, in the center of Aachen, after I had come back from Mexico. I told him the stories of my family, or my recent election to AIESEC International, my moving to Rotterdam, and my sentenced to end relationship with my long term boyfriend, while I was spending most of the time since I came back, sitting at home and getting pleasure and entertainment from Stumble, while chatting long hours with my new teammates, sometimes untill very late at night. On the other hand, Rafi had just come back from Poland, he was complaining bitterly about university and of missing his girlfriend. Together we were wondering what would happen to us next, where would we be one year from then.

So today, one year later aproximately we sat again on a sunny spring day on the Elisebrunenpark and life is very different and very much the same at the same time. We wonder why somethings never change and why others have changed so much and so fast.

This is the last weekend Rafael will be in Aachen. Yesterday he turned in his thesis, and he has got an internship in Bonn where his girlfriend also will work, their long distance tragedy is over to bring them new and interesting life situations. The tables have turned when he is the one with the stable life and my life is absolutely gone from stable to... I don't even know how to call the situation in which you have absolutely no clue of where you will be in the next few months and barely can tell who I can trust and who after one entire year actually got to know me, who has changed me profoundly... I guess that happens when you cut the strings that attached you to the last stable relationship I had in my life one year ago. One thing has not changed... we both are broke, despite the interesting presumptions of some people saying my dad provides meof an endless budget.

Zsolti will be in Budapest and Rafi in Bonn, no idea where I will be, but in any case I guess too far from them.

Found this in internet. Pretty summarizes many thoughts of the year...

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing. It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive. It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain!I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it, or fix it. I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human. It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithlessand therefore trustworthy. I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day,and if you can source your own life from its presence. I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes!” It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children. It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back. It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away. I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

Fashion, the inside reflected outside

Fashion and its design are a shape of art, they use a variety of techniques to allow people to express the truth about their unconscious minds by way of their living. Think about it, what is the personal opinion people have of themselves and how much is it reflected on the clothes they use? It is a lie to say only those wealthy are able to determine a personal style and feel comfortable with the image they have in their world, as creating and representing this image is only a matter of creativity and awareness.

To create wearable personality designers use fabric, cut, colour, scale, references to the past, texture, color harmony, distressing, transparency, insignia, accessories, beading and embroidery. It is also used to find the average size of things, to make a product suitable for a high number of customers, hence you have the existence of trends.

Fashion as a term usually applies to a prevailing mode of expression, but quite often applies to a personal mode of expression that may or may not apply to all. Inherent in the term is the idea that the mode will change more quickly than the culture as a whole. The terms "fashionable" and "unfashionable" are employed to describe whether someone or something fits in with the current popular mode of expression. The term "fashion" is frequently used in a positive sense, as a synonym for glamour and style. In this sense, fashions are a sort of communal art, through which a culture examines its notions of beauty.

Appreciating fashion is sometimes judged as superficial, materialistic and empty... For me it is more a way to appreciate art, to create a lifestyle and a system of believes to represent yourself as an individual in a society. Caring about this external aspect of your individuality is not really a crime. Doing good and looking good are not in a fight of principles, thus:

You can look good (taking care of the clothes you wear, of the state of your body and your mind) and save the world in your own way. Or you can save your world in your own way without taking care of anything of the rest.

No, fashion is not the business of balance, spirituality and inner beauty, yet it is a multi billion dollar industry covering different needs of an individual, and it goes far beyond clothing.

People that create and direct fashions have the power to influence others and their lifestyles, it can be a real way of impact. The hardest change to cause is that that will involve a change in the attitudes, habits and behaviours of people, fashionistas and trendsetters do have some say in it.

Dinner, Jazz and Chat

It had been a heavy day at work, but Bryan came from Hungary for his first round of transition, and of course we had to do something nice. After work we have planned to meet, and after dropping his stuff at my place we went for dinner. Originally we had planned to go to Lulu, but as we were meeting in the end with more people, we decided to go for another place by the Old Harbor after making some reservations.

Chicken Schnitzel with red pesto and fries... yummy! Of course Bryan started with biers, while I kept on drinking Coke and we had the chance to catch up in all what happened in this looooong two weeks since we met last. It was really nice and eventually the rest of friends arrived there. It was nice to see some people I had not met for a while making a bit of fun of Dutch culture being Dutch themselves. They were quite amazed on the improvement there is on my Dutch :)

I also really enjoy spending time with Bryan, because we can laugh a lot together about each other, telling some stuff in Hungarian, and just making fun of each other's reputation or actions in the past such as him on the last night of the conference, drinking enough to end up dancing in the middle of two lines of roll call dancing AIESEC members and not remembering it, or me, dancing and getting close with... yeah, it was nice to dance, I remember.

Jorien joined us after a chain of SMS in order to arrange our meeting, and after sharing a couple of stories about guys we decided to take off. But what to do in a random Wednesday night? Let's go to Rotown!- We thought, as anyways the pie there is as delicious as it is in Dudok and it was surely open.

Arriving to Rotown we got a nice suprise as there was a performance going on and it sounded jazzy and amazing. They call it the "Vocal Night", and of course everything was about beautiful voices singing, r&b, jazz, soul, funk and pop. Of course they had a good DJ putting on the music and mixing really nicely, and well, in the Rotown atmosphere, it was simply nice. I guess the singers were Dutch artists singing basically in English, and together with the pie and the drinks the night was crowned.

Tomorrow there is a big party going on in Tilburg... to go or not to go... that is the question. What definetely will not be a question is the Monday of Pinkpop this year.

A dive in the male brain

For centuries women have gathered to discuss the same issue. Nowadays we do it in "girls night", with cocktails in a bar, or complete magazines are written. How can you become the best girl for that guy? What does a guy want? What do you need to do for him to keep liking you? What are you indisposition to give in to make him happy?

So for centuries, generations of women think of different ways to achieve a bunch of characteristics at the same time to be worthily of that amazing guy loving you, or well... at least taking some care of you at some level. We think if we manage this there is no way he won't like you, because maybe all those things is what we look for in a man... We try to be intelligent, beautiful, understanding, caring, fun, not too demanding, a medium (to guess what is on his mind, why he behaves on a way without having to ask questions) etc, etc, etc. And the truth is that most of the times, still it doesn't work.

Then you gather with your friends wondering what you could have done better, what and in which moment it all went so wrong that somebody had to start with the classic speech "It is not you, it is me...bla bla bla bla". If you started the moment for this conversation to happen (so the girl) probably you have been suffering for quite a while, and if he started it, many times you still don't know what happened, because in the end, you tried to be all those things and... What happened? What did I do wrong? Surprise! In many cases nothing, he just must be an idiot... but you tried to be your best! How come...?

And tonight... "Enlightenment"! Sitting with a bunch of guys I heard it all. The discussion, where to go out. A couple of places come in the conversation, and a set of events come out... A couple of weeks ago one of my acquaintances showed up with quite a character that he called his "friend". This "friend" is the classic woman my friends and I would start talking about immediately. Artificially beautiful, not very brilliant and wearing clothes that leave not too much for any guy to imagine. Why is he with her? - I asked - I mean he is cute and smart, he could get someone so much better, someone... smarter... I mean, no offence but she is kind of dumb - And then the truth came out of those guys' mouths...

"Sometimes you don't need a girl with brains"
"Dumb girls never ask questions, she doesn't need to be that beautiful for something based on sex"
"You know... someone who wants to have fun and experiment"
"Yeah, those girls you have something some nights and you don't need to call, I mean, you call them for some fun and that's it"

I felt offended, like those guys were talking about women like an object for sex, a piece of meat more less. I looked at them dignified and said "How can you say..." to be interrupted by... "But Maria, those girls are not like you, you are smart and you wouldn't let a guy use you, I mean, they are slutty, bitches, they like to be used and if you need some sex and don't want to give anything they are happy and you are happy, a girl with no brains wants no more, asks no questions, you use them and they are happy to be used".

I was astonished hearing it... "So what kind of relationship can you start with those premises?" and the answer was "None, they are for fun, if you want a relationship you won't like a girl who slept with half the city already, you want someone smarter and with self respect" They laughed loudly "Not like a salami that felt on the floor!".

So sometimes they don't want what we think they want (it would be awesome if they would say it straight as it would save some pain). Sometimes they want someone... not so beautiful, with not so much brains, who will ask for nothing and will be happy with some sex...

Always theorizing about it, but now I heard it from them, no barriers, just spoke to me matter of fact. The conversation moved on for them to talk about something like... Ali G and cars... Sometimes we wonder why loving them and accepting them is not enough for them, but in reality sometimes loving them and accepting them is too much.

Globalization shot on a Saturday Morning

You have a Mexican passport with a German residence permit, and along you carry a Dutch residence permit, it is in the page of your American residence permit. You just took a train from Belgium to The Netherlands where a Dutch friend picks you up to take you to Germany for the weekend after having dinner together. In the way you speak on the phone with an Indian about to leave to South Africa. After dinner with your Dutch friend, you meet with a German friend and smoke some Egyptian shisha, you catch up on his life with his Polish girlfriend. When you get home you speak to your Hungarian friend while you chat on-line with a Lithuanian. You confirm your flight to Sweden and go to sleep in a mattress made in Germany covered by sheets made in India.

The Japanese phone that you bought in Germany that is carrying a Dutch card goes off, it has a message from your South African colleague working in India. She is expecting a Portuguese contact of yours flying in from The Netherlands. You take a shower with English products and change your pyjama made in Morocco and bought in Spain to your clothes made some in Italy and some in France bought in Hungary and Belgium, your sneakers are made in the US bought in The Netherlands. You have breakfast with sausage produced in the Czech Republic your eggs are coming from Norway. The milk comes from Austria. The door bell goes off... the German post man working for a German company that merged with an American company and being top player in Asia is there with a box that contains your new underwear it is made all over the place, you ordered it online while you were sitting by the pool in Egypt, you paid with an American account that is paid in Mexico...

My home in Germany

Every person that moves a bit too much to keep family and friends updated should at least send pictures from their different homes.

I moved in my apartment in Germany about three years ago now, but never sent pictures! Worry not, I only finished decorating and buying furniture last November. So better late than never, a compilation of pictures of all times of my home in Germany.

You can find them on my sidebar if you cannot access the link to the slide show in this post by clicking on the picture. Enjoy?

PS. Agree, moving from here would be a freakin' odyssey.

I forgot it was carnaval?

Unbelievable but true! I forgot it was Carnaval! It is not celebrated in the north of The Netherlands, and as the heavy days are not there yet, there were no drunken, dressed up people to remind me of the fact that it is carnaval season, plus I am busy enough with other things to keep my mind into it.

So how did I remember? Well... going to the hair dresser for the monthly appointment I walk in front of a cafe and I hear this loud and horrible music characteristic for these days.

No... no Rosen Montag this year, no Maastricht parade... Egypt in IPM is to be!

Can't hardly wait to meet so many old friends for one last time in an AIESEC conference, and to see how life after it will be.

I am back!

As you can see I am finally back on the computer :) I will be writing soon on how is life in the past few weeks. All good and all bad... if I couldn't complaint about something is about nothing happening.

Gone with the wind...

Now it is absolutely crazy... No, I am not watching romantic movies and wondering about my life... There is some kind of weather condition in The Netherlands that has made the wind go crazy. As in... the windows of the office open up the entire time... the buzzing of the wind makes the building vibrate and it feels horrible... and this is not it... the wind is so strong that my 50 kgs are easily shifted as I walk on the street... it is like a weird movie... in a country in which all means of transport stopped going because of the weather... and people are not going out on a Thursday night because of the wind, if not because of the wind and rain.

Is Ikea an icon for youth in Western Europe?

As I talked to my mom about the time when my dad and she were just married, and they were just graduated, she told me they bought a flat, some furniture and the rest they got from other friends and relatives, and it was all slowly replaced or acquired for new pieces as my parents careers advanced.

In my case, ever since I left home, and I came to Western Europe, I might have got one or two things that were used previously, and nor my home, nor my friends’ homes look unfurnished. And somehow most people have a similar touch of Scandinavian design. We have Ikea, our parents didn’t.

Nowadays these famous Swedish stores are packed with people about every day and every time in all of Western Europe… if you:

*Start studying university and living on your own first time…
*Start working in another city or country…
*If your new love has a new place…
*If you move in with your partner…
*If you split with your partner…
*If you have a baby…
*If you want to set up your working place…

You will go to Ikea.

If when decorating my flat in Germany I made a huge effort to find each new and nice, yet not so expensive pieces of furniture to come out of the Ikea pattern, my Rotterdam home screams Ikea. Ikea is something so usual in the AI team that the Ikea down-down in the Hash is something standard. And I start wondering… even if I have very few Ikea items, how come I have so many memories of coming to Ikea? Could it be called an icon of youth in Western Europe? I have been to Ikea in all of the above described situations, except for having a baby… If I cannot generalize to enough to say Ikea is there when everyone’s life is changing drastically, I can say that Ikea somehow attracts me each time my life changes, and I visit it in total excitement and happiness or in tears… Ikea is something that I will remember of my youth in Western Europe. Plundra!

Year Review: 2006