Mo chroí, cronaím thú. Gráim thú.

Because we were ONCE... maybe ONCE we will be again, but different.
ONCE it happened. We changed, you did. Who will we be? Will WE ever be again?
Only life will tell. Now it seems only the channel is between, but there is so much more.
We were enough ONCE, we are not now. Life will tell if we will ever be.


Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova... ONCE

Part of me
Has Died
And won't return
And part of me
Wants to hide
The part that's burned

Once, once
Knew how to talk to you
Once, once
But not anymore

Hear the sirens call me home
Hear the sirens call me home
Hear the sirens call me home
Hear the sirens call me home

Part of me
Has vied
To watch it burn
And the heart of me
Has tried
But look what it's become

Once, once
I knew how to look for you
Once, once
But that was before
Once, once
I would have laid down to died for you
Once, once
But not anymore.

Hear the sirens call me home
Hear the sirens call me home
Hear the sirens call me home
Hear the sirens call me home

So Dublin...

I had heard about this movie from someone in Dublin when it won an Oscar. Someone else told me the story and on my last day in Galway I saw posters of the winners with the award and a big smile. They were in the cover of many magazines, and that day in Galway I entered a music store on the side of Shop St. The music was there and it made me want to see it.

It is brilliant, it is so Dublin, so Ireland... It makes me remember the non professional reason why I landed in that island. I miss Ireland still. I miss my reasons to be in Ireland a bit; but as life goes on, tomorrow I am off to Munich. Maybe there is the chance of a lifetime.

Watch Once, it's worth it.




See with Google videos.
http://video.google.com/videofile/Once.flv?docid=-5264548659686420841&itag=5

Slán agat Eire

Expiring for love is about the most ridiculous thing I could do now...

Trusting someone else's potential is just as silly as putting your destiny to the flip of a coin.

Tested many times and always ended in chaos. The desicion is made.

You cannot defy your own nature or someone else's just because of love. Too... fleeting. Impossible actually. Maybe I just became someone like them. They won in that sense. The cinicism on the topic is overwhelming.

I am leaving soon... maybe to come back, maybe not...

In the window... as options:

Dublin, Stokholm and Munich.

As certainties: Cologne, Budapest and St. Petersburg. With all the people that are certain but not taken for granted. Not those that have potential to be, but those that are.

Slán agat Eire. See you soon.

Green Eyes

From Damien Rice
For the guy from the Irish land and the Dublin coast

Honey you are a rock
Upon which I stand.
And I come here to talk.
I hope you understand.
That green eyes
Yeah the spotlight
Shines upon you.
And how could anybody deny you?

I came here with a load
And it feels so much lighter now I met you.
And honey you should know
That I could never go on without you.
Green eyes

Honey you are the sea
Upon which I float.
And I came here to talk.
I think you should know.

That green eyes
You're the one that I wanted to find.
And anyone who tried to deny you must be out of their mind.
'Cause I came here with a load
And it feels so much lighter since I met you.
Honey you should know
That I could never go on without you.
Green eyes, green eyes

oh oh oh,
oh oh oh,
oh oh oh,
oh oh oh

Honey you are a rock
Upon which I stand.

Life in my veins

It is interesting how only a few weeks afterwards, you wonder if it all happened or you just thought it did. The passion is a vague memory, the dreams and the plans are something that was almost part of your imagination. You know there was love as the scars are left. The pain, the sadness is a vivid… memory that also starts fading away. That’s what reminds you that it did happen. That it was amazing until it wasn’t. It is a note that tells you… there is not such a thing as “happily ever after”, but there is “as long as it lasts”.

So after another amazing weekend, the second one that makes me feel life is running in my veins after a while of emptiness, I thought I’d remember times of numbness and sadness, just to feel life more alive. Alive as ever and remembering those good things come to those who wait, and that good things are hard to get, but they worth struggling.

We don’t know if there is tomorrow, but there is now.

A weekend to believe again

It is such a long time since I had so much fun.

I mean honestly, I think the days of random party are over to be substituted by something else.
And what is nicer than meeting someone with whom you can talk about the topics you are most interested in?

So the weekend was a surprise. Starting as always with no plans it ended up in real tons of fun (I am even writing without cynicism again).

So the surprises started on Friday evening. A night that promised to be uneventful in the club I always go to finished in a crazy party until 7am as I met one of the coolest people ever. A whole new circle of lives.

A weekend with a person with whom you truly have an intellectual and physical connexion is absolutely priceless. Conversations around music, different shapes of art, what made us what we are, the people around us… Honest confessions of our weakness. Of what made us cry.

It is truly fate. I would have never imagined such a thing a month ago, when I saw the world around me collapsing. It would be hard for me to believe that such things happen if it wasn’t because they do.

That one who doesn’t risk, doesn’t achieve.

What's all worth?

And here I am, at the end of yet another failed relationship, one which I truly believed would last, in the moments of self doubt and loneliness asking: What's it all worth?

I question everything. I question him, I question myself and all the choices I've ever made. And I wonder, if there is such a thing as fate: Have all the mistakes I've ever done been written somewhere? Am I suppose to pendle between pleasure and pain for a while that is already determined and there is no possibility to do differently? Are we that programmed? That predetermined?

Your brain tells you it was a good choice, your heart tells you, you are a fool. The only thing you have left besides all the wounds and an experience that you are not sure its worth finishing that way. But how do you give proper value for an experience no one, not even yourself, can account for? Where is the limit you have to put between dignity and matters of the heart?

I just know one thing at this point. He has left a huge space. I wish he was here. And the biggest question of all: Is this place home without him?

Bananas

Dear all,

My personal life has gone freaking bananas lately.
I don't feel like writing tons of bull, so I guess I will write as soon as something more excited than my collapsing love life happens.

For the rest, all is good.

For the guy behind the bar...